Who do we really love? The person, or the golden image of them? There is a fine line between worshipping the ideal and worshipping the material. It is easy to accuse men of objectifying women, but the truth is women also put men on their own pedestals. I openly confess this in my new pop song called "Golden Image."
Song Inspiration
The first story that came to mind when writing my song was from the book of Exodus. Back in Sunday School, I remember learning about the Israelites worshipping a golden calf in the wilderness. Rather than wait for God to finish giving His commands to their leader Moses on Mount Sinai, the people grew impatient and collected all of their gold jewelry to fashion into a calf so they could worship it as their god. Here is the excerpt from Exodus chapter 32:
Aaron answered them, 'Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me.' So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, 'These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.'
When Aaron saw this, he built an altar in front of the calf and announced, 'Tomorrow there will be a festival to the Lord.' So the next day the people rose early and sacrificed burnt offerings and presented fellowship offerings. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry."
- Exodus 32:1-6
Israel's expedient pleasure of worshipping something man-made rather than fearfully worshipping the One who has made all things seemed like such a foolish story to me. God had delivered His people from death countless times, so why were they so quick to turn away and worship a lifeless idol? How could they become so disillusioned?
I decided to do the difficult thing as the reader and look inwardly at myself. Did I have any right to judge Israel for their sin? Or, was I willing to admit that I was in the same boat as them? The truth is, I am just as impatient with waiting on the Lord and also struggle with instant gratification and empty distraction to pass the time away. When writing my new song, I focused on Israel's golden aspect of their idolization to describe my own "golden image."
A more applicable story for my song is found in the book of Ezekiel. It was very humbling to discover how relevant the biblical message is with the theme of my song. In chapter 16, Jerusalem is described as the wife of God who does not lack for anything, yet her lust and pride lead her to defile herself in ways that go beyond what any other woman has done. This means that even God-fearing women fall victim to idolization. The following verse from Ezekiel perfectly describes the narrative of my song which is why I decided to display it at the beginning of my music video.
As a young woman, I struggle with the constant fear of being objectified by men. Writing "Golden Image" was my effort to acknowledge and overcome that fear. I know I ought to fear God above all else, as His word commands, but when I fail to do this my fear of men rules over me and I resort to contending with "male images" within my mind in order to feel safe and in control. In other words, I let my sense of victimhood justify my own idolization. "Golden Image" is the musical manifestation of this personal dilemma.
As every songwriter will understand, once you're able to articulate your insecurities through a song, it feels as if you can relinquish its power over your mind. If the song is written authentically and vulnerably, then it should be the songwriter's hope for their listeners to face that same fear and let it go by the time the music has ended. This is why I gave "Golden Image" an energetic and upbeat tone. I wanted to juxtapose the lonely character of the song-lyrics with a happy-go-lucky sound and lively tempo, so that my listeners will feel encouraged and brave enough to identify their own struggles with idolization as the song unfolds.
In my Christian walk, I have learned that God is a god of irony so I approach my songwriting with the same philosophy. The more heart-wrenching my song-lyrics are, the happier my song should sound to balance it out. The famous music artist Taylor Swift categorizes her songwriting into three categories: quill, fountain pen and glitter gel pen style. Glitter gel pen lyrics have been described as "frivolous, carefree, bouncy, syncopated perfectly to the beat... they don't care if you don't take them seriously because they don't take themselves seriously." My song "Golden Image" is the first work where I have taken out my glitter gel pen to compose a playful and more commercial pop sound. I usually prefer my quill and fountain pen when writing, but for this one I knew I needed to add some brightness to my dark melancholic style.
What better way to brighten up a song than to infuse it with gold? In the world of art, the color gold symbolizes so many things. It is said that the roots of the tree of life are gold which represent fertility. In Roman culture, gold rings were used as a symbol of romantic engagement. Champions in the Olympics receive gold medals because the "gold standard" is a signifier of excellent quality or service. Gold has been valuable throughout human history and is usually seen in a favorable light. It represents the ideal divine standard that we all covet. But if we fall into making an idol out of it, the emptiness and lifeless nature of gold will be revealed and leave us disappointed.
As you can see in my music video, I capitalized on golden accessories, props and lighting. I wanted the special color to pervade my narrative of falling in love with the "golden potential" of a romantic relationship. This kind of love is what the Jewish psychoanalyst Erich Fromm calls a "pseudo" form of love. I recently read his book on "The Art of Loving" and found the following excerpt from pages 83-84 to go hand-in-hand with the message of my music video:
"A form of pseudo-love which is not infrequent and is often experienced (and more often described in moving pictures and novels) as the “great love” is idolatrous love. If a person has not reached the level where he has a sense of identity, of I-ness, rooted in the productive unfolding of his own powers, he tends to “idolize” the loved person. He is alienated from his own powers and projects them into the loved person, who is worshipped as the summum bonum, the bearer of all love, all light, all bliss.
In this process he deprives himself of all sense of strength, loses himself in the loved one instead of finding himself. Since usually no person can, in the long run, live up to the expectations of her (or his) idolatrous worshiper, disappointment is bound to occur, and as a remedy a new idol is sought for, sometimes in an unending circle.
What is characteristic for this type of idolatrous love is, at the beginning, the intensity and suddenness of the love experience. This idolatrous love is often described as the true, great love; but while it is meant to portray the intensity and depth of love, it only demonstrates the hunger and despair of the idolater. Needless to say it is not rare that two persons find each other in a mutual idolatry which, sometimes, in extreme cases, represents the picture of a folie à deux."
- Erich Fromm
As Fromm says in his book, this kind of "pseudo-love" is so frequent in our culture which is why I felt compelled to highlight the issue in a theatrical way through my song and video.
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| Notice how my dress turns black after he accepts the golden fruit... 👀 |
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| The typical menu for a first date, n'est pas? |
Our hearts do not naturally long for God or His statutes, but He promises to one day transform us so that we may worship Him in spirit and truth. He will not do this for our sake, but for the sake of His holy name. Our idolization will come to an end and YHWH alone will be worshipped as He deserves. As a hopeless idolater (or "hopeless romantic" to appeal to modern culture), this promise is very comforting to me. The poet Robert Frost once said, "nothing gold can stay" and that includes all our attachments to this world. But "the words of YHWH are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times," (Psalm 12:6). If we put our trust in Jesus, then He will deliver us from the ultimate deception of our idols.
Behind-the-Scenes
It's been a couple of weeks since I released "Golden Image" onto all music platforms, and a week since I premiered the professional music video on YouTube. Both releases have received over 1,000 streams and views which is exciting! I filmed the music video in Brooklyn this past June which was a whirlwind of a time since my cast and crew brought it to life within one evening (five hours, to be exact)! So much went into the pre-production process on my end, so seeing it all come together was a very rewarding feeling. I'm grateful that my dad was there to witness my project, and I especially appreciated his help in lugging the concrete pedestals onto my set!
Here are some behind-the-scenes of my shoot in Brooklyn:
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| Just showing off my golden images! 💁🏻♀️ |
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